There were, however, some disadvantages. Clients that I had seen maybe once or twice years previously would stop me in the street or in the supermarket and proceed to inform me that “Fifi” or “Ben” or “Fido” had made sterling progress and how grateful they were, which was good to hear and very flattering but was very wearing as they obviously thought that I would remember every detail of their particular case. There were times that I was terrified of betraying myself as I appeared to nonchalantly make all the right noises without having any recall regarding either owner of the dog. I also remember being in a store purchasing underpants when I was accosted by a rather large former female client who informed me in a very loud voice that her poodle was better behaved and that her ex-husband wore the same underpants that I was buying.
Another problem was that being on BBC radio Cornwall in particular gave one a mystical reputation that led listeners to believe you were capable of offering advice and solving problems that were totally outside your level of expertise. It was not unknown to be approached with questions about cats, rabbits and very small pets like hamsters and guinea pigs but mostly these were easily passed on to vets, but what happened on this particular day was totally unexpected.
The call came early one morning.
“Is that the dog man?”
“Yes,” I replied “How may I help?”
“What do you know about pigs?”
“Pigs?”
“Yes, pot-bellied pigs.”
“Sir, I’m a dog trainer and behaviourist I know nothing about pigs, pot-bellied or otherwise. You need a large animal vet or a farmer with experience of this type of animal.”
*Well I spoke to the vet, and he said it was a behaviour problem and I did ring a farmer who just laughed and anyway Bluebell is a pet.”
“Bluebell.”
“That’s her name. Bluebell.”
“And what’s the matter with Bluebell?”
“She won’t come out of her house. It’s like she got colost….colost….colostaphobia.”
Momentarily I had an image of a pot-bellied pig with a colostomy bag. My confused silence was taken as an invitation to expand on the problem with Bluebell.
“You know, people suffer from it, when they are frightened of open spaces.”
“Sir that is Agoraphobia.”
“Well, what is colostaphobia?”
I realised that my erstwhile client was probably referring to the condition commonly known as claustrophobia, the fear of small spaces.
By now, my head was reeling. It was 8 o’clock in the morning, I had barely finished my boiled egg and toasted soldiers, and here I was being asked to sort out a claustrophobic or agoraphobic pot-bellied pig.
“Sir, maybe it would be a good idea if you told me exactly what the problem is”
“Well, you see, Bluebell doesn’t want to come out of her shelter. She just stays inside.”
The obvious immediately occurred to me, How does she eat, where is her food? Surely if the food is placed outside her shelter, she would come out when she was hungry. I said so, expecting the conversation to end with a satisfied client.
“Yes, I tried that, but she still wouldn’t come out as she didn’t eat for a day I got worried, so I put her food back inside.”
I realised that a visit was called for, and the arrangements were put in place.
The owner of Bluebell, Mr Murchison, met me at the appointed hour. He lived in a fairly isolated property that appeared to be a smallholding. There were assorted vegetables in various stages of growth, a goat, some chickens and a rather sleepy cross-breed dog that barely raised its head when I arrived.
Bluebell resided in the typical half-moon construction with a corrugated metal roof and a wooden back. I peered into the gloom and had my first glimpse of the agoraphobic pot-bellied pig. She appeared to be in good condition, but then I wasn’t then or now an expert on the subject of Sus Domesticus.
Prior to my visit, I had phoned a pig farmer of my acquaintance in the hope of getting some clue that would give me an idea of how to solve the problem. He also laughed and suggested that Bluebell would make tasty chops.
A series of questions and answers gave no clue as to the reason for Bluebell’s reluctance to get out of bed and face the world. With no knowledge of the thought process of a pot-bellied pig, I was left with very few options.
I had to be honest and confess to Mr Murchison I had no idea what was wrong with Bluebell, so I had very little to offer. After all, this wasn’t my line of work, and I had never even met an agoraphobic dog, let alone an agoraphobic pot-bellied pig. I did have one idea. It would take time and no instant solutions.
“Mr Murchison, this is what I suggest.”.
“Take a tape measure, mark the ground at 1inch intervals and move Bluebell’s food bowel 1 inch each day. Maybe if it is done at minuscule intervals, she won’t notice. I’m sorry, I don’t have anything more scientific or practical to offer.
We shook hands and I departed. I never heard from Mr Murchison again, so I was never certain of the outcome, but about 3 years later, I was on another visit which took me past the smallholding. From a vantage point further on, I was able to look down on the entire set-up. The chickens, the goat and the sleeping canine were all still there and wallowing in a rather muddy pen was a pot-bellied pig. Was it Bluebell? Unfortunately, all pot-bellied pigs look identical to me so I couldn’t be certain particularly at that distance.
Nowadays, I am sure that I could have recommended a behaviourist who specialises in pigs, but in those days, behaviourism was in its infancy, and large animals were considered to be livestock and treated accordingly.
For me, when I reminisce I remember that when I was working for many years I was the only trainer/behaviourist in Cornwall and fortunately such steps into the world of other species were rare but extremely challenging. Now it seems that there has been an explosion in canine trainers/ behaviourists, and a swift check in Yellow Pages will confirm that there are now literally pages of them. Naturally, I have wondered how the modern behaviourist would manage. One day when I am feeling mischievous, maybe I will be tempted to ring one of them up. The conversation would go like this…..
“I have this pot-bellied pig……. “
“When we show respect for other living things, they respond and show respect for us.”
Arapahoe Native American Tribal Saying
With subtitle or not?