It should be noted that as far as a true Cornishman is concerned there are only 25 letters in the English Alphabet not 26. The letter H is so rarely used its almost extinct!!
Glossary of Cornish Terms
Wasson Shag. Hello how are you
Pizzendawn. Raining hard
Rufazrats. Not feeling well, can be due to alcohol
Crib. Mid morning snack
E’s as teazy as ‘n ‘adder. Someone or something to wary of
Alright me ‘ansume. A general greeting to all genders
Giss on. Your joking!
Wozelike!? Always up to something
Dearovim. Oh dear of him
Zackly. Agreed
Bleddy fool. Absolute idiot
I was visiting the Johnson’s at the time. They were a delightful couple who had retired to Cornwall. They had a Smooth Fox Terrier called Bosun, a breed that I have a great affinity for, my first ever dog was an S.F.T.
It’s not a particularly popular breed and is easily overlooked but in my experience, it tends to make an excellent family pet. Bosun, being a terrier had a habit of developing selective deafness when out on a walk and needed to understand that the instruction to “come” means return immediately not several minutes later, in your own time, having leisurely finished sniffing all the available smells.
We were making good progress and over a cup of coffee, I happened to mention that due to a cancellation my next visit was not for another two hours so I was going to take Zena for a walk on the dunes. The Johnson’s exchanged glances.
Mr Johnson then asked, “If you are free would it be possible for you to visit a friend of ours. It shouldn’t take long. You will be able to tell him for sure what the problem is. You see he got this dog yesterday from an advert in the local paper but wants to take it back because he says the dog bares its teeth at him. He had been looking for something small to keep him company, you know one that doesn’t need too much exercise but makes you get out of bed in the mornings and get some fresh air. I would go and look myself but the car is in the garage and they are waiting for a spare part. The dog is a Pomeranian and according to Neville, that’s his name Neville Pedrick, he said the woman was unable to keep the dog because she had found a new man and he didn’t like little dogs. The name of the dog by the way is Sherbert and I think Neville said it’s about 18 months old. I should warn you Neville is very Cornish in his speech.”
I agreed and after a phone call to confirm my impending arrival, I departed and headed for the Pedrick residence. As I drove away the rain started and by the time I had arrived it was raining heavily
Mr Pedrick lived in a chalet nestled in the dunes close to the sea. I have no doubt that it was designated as a holiday home and was not meant to be used as a permanent residence.
This is Cornwall and it has to be said that in those days what may be designated for a specific purpose and the reality of the situation are not always the same.
Mr Pedrick, who was in his late 70s had never left Cornwall.
On a weekly basis, he only travelled on his bicycle into the local town for shopping but on one momentous occasion, he informed me, that he had taken the bus as far as Truro!!
During the visit, he asked me if I had travelled at all. I informed him that I had lived in many places in the UK and had in fact lived abroad on the island of St Lucia in the Caribbean.
“How did you get there,” he asked.
“We flew,” I replied.
“Wot in an aeroplane?”
“Yes.”
I smiled at the reply
“Oh I don’t be ‘olding with that, that’s fer yuppies.”
He had a bright red nose lined with spidery capillaries which suggested that he was a man who had consumed alcoholic beverages at a fairly rapid rate.His greeting set the tone.
“Mr ‘Odson, wasson shag, pizzendawn is’n? Not best today, feeling rufazrats. Its ‘leven, join me for crib?”
“A cup of tea would go down a great if your going to put the kettle on. Now, about your dog, what’s the problem and where is he?”
“Well me ‘andsome I t’aught I ‘ad a real good dog but he snarled at me from as soon as I got ‘im ‘ome. I got ‘im in spare room. You go careful. E’s as teazy as ‘n adder. I’m gonna take ‘im back today if I can get ‘im without getting bit.”
I walked into the room and could barely stop myself from laughing out loud. The tiny Pomeranian showed me a beautiful set of pearly whites. This wasn’t an aggressive dog. It was a dog that smiled!!
This is not a common phenomenon, it isn’t something you see every day but unfortunately, people can misunderstand and assume a dog showing its teeth is showing aggression. I picked Sherbert up, tucked him under my arm, walked back into the living room.
“Mr Pedrick your dog is smiling,” I announced.
The old man stared at me in disbelief.
“Giss on.”
“Smiling, dogs can smile?”
He reached out, tears sprang into the corners of his eyes.
“I am so sorry, so sorry, so sorry little one.” he intoned.
As he held Sherbert up in front of his face the dog gave a big grin and then licked his nose.
.
“Dearovi’m”
“Wozelike!?”
“Well, Mr ‘Odson don’t I feel a bleddy fool.”
“So I suppose you are going to keep Sherbert?”
“Zackly, Ee’l ‘ave a good ‘ome with me. ”
I departed, leaving the old fellow and the dog to get to know each other.
Every Christmas, for as long as I can remember I used to get a card with a photograph and a small message inside. The first year Mr Pedrick informed me he had gone teetotal as he felt he had to be sober now that he was responsible for Sherbert. With each card, it slowly became obvious that Sherbert’s features were becoming greyer as the years passed. The year finally arrived without a card and I made enquiries. It transpired that Sherbert had died peacefully in his sleep in the August of that year and Neville Pedrick had passed away in the September. He was in his early 90s.
I heard it said that Mr Pedrick died of a broken heart, going so soon after Sherbert and how sad that was, however, I prefer to look at it slightly differently.
I see the positive side. Mr Pedrick was an elderly man who became devoted to his small hairy friend. Who can say that the length of time he lived was not down to the presence of Sherbert.
Maybe it was mainly due to the long-lasting devotion to his dog that Mr Pedrick lived as long as he did. Not only lived but lived in perfect harmony with his beloved smiling canine companion.
“Animals share with us the privilege of having a soul.”
Pythagoras
With subtitle or not?