Night storage heating is a system that draws heat from the national grid during the night at cheaper rates, stores the heat inside the radiator and then releases the heat as required during the day, particularly in the evening.
The olfactory nerve is located in the head and the olfactory receptors are located in the mucosa within the nose.
What follows is one of the more bizarre problems that I encountered.
Mr Bolitho was noticeable for two reasons, firstly for the sheer physical size of the man and secondly for his shiny shoes. Apart from military personnel on parade, I have never seen footwear polished to the level of gloss where you could see your reflection in the shoe.
The Bolitho’s lived in a terrace house that was originally constructed for Cornish tin miners, from the outside just another terraced house with the front door opening out onto the pavement, however, the plain exterior belied the luxurious interior. Not only was the interior impressive but the furniture and soft furnishings were high quality and the decor tasteful.
Their dog was Baxter a Bedlington Terrier who was generally very well behaved and whose quiet, gentle demeanour suited the Bolitho’s easy way of life.
I discovered rather quickly that Mrs Bolitho was a rather talented cook and I was delighted to pass judgement on her scones topped with homemade strawberry jam and clotted cream. As I consumed the cream tea I reckoned that if nothing else this was going to be a memorable visit. Little did I realise that it wasn’t only the food that would make it memorable because after two hours I still hadn’t got a clue what was wrong with Baxter!
Starting on a Sunday evening Baxter started to behave strangely. It started with his fascination with the night storage radiator. He would start by constantly sniffing the carpet by the radiator then getting very excited and this culminated in him trying to “mount”
the radiator. This strange behaviour had started approximately three weeks previously and showed no signs of stopping. It diminished as the days of the week passed but was more noticeable in the evenings.
The response from Mr Bolitho to this behaviour was “when his willy touches the radiator that’ll sort him out!!” Mrs Bolitho was a little more compassionate, had an inquiring mind and wanted to know why this behaviour was occurring.
As any behaviourist will tell you any consultation starts with a question and answer session which very often gives up the clues that lead to the cause of the problem and leads to the solution. My own Q and A sessions always included a complete background as far as possible, difficult In the case of rescue dogs, but the more information available the easier the problem is to solve. After half an hour I had a fairly comprehensive idea of the life of Baxter.
Male, four years old, purchased from the breeder at 12 weeks of age, neutered at 18 months of age, fully inoculated, fed on a well-known brand of complete dog food, no history of any illness.
Additional questions elicited that Baxter’s diet was suitable for a pet dog, unlike many clients who think that feeding their dog a high protein diet is a good idea. I have lost count of the number of occasions that I have had to point out that feeding a family pet the sort of high protein food that is required for working dogs can be a disaster as it can create all sorts of behaviour problems. The “Big Four”, eating, drinking, peeing and pooing were all normal.
There had been no changes in diet, no change in routine, no long term visitors, no bereavements, there had been no introduction of small children or babies, in fact absolutely no cause for Baxter to feel concerned about his status or security. Therefore there was no obvious reason for his sudden amorous attachment to the night storage radiator.
Between mouthfuls of scone and sips of coffee, I continued to try and extract any information that would give me a clue as to Baxter’s strange behaviour, all to no avail.
“Something must have happened three weeks ago, please, please rack your brains” I implored. “Why Sunday?”
As the conversation started to stop and the pauses were becoming embarrassing I noticed that the sun had reached that part of the room by the radiator. Something glistened in the sunlight. Under the radiator, there were what appeared to be tiny flecks of glass. Sorely not. Mrs Bolitho would never allow bits of glass to stay on the carpet. I walked over to the radiator, ran my hand over the carpet and realised It was what appeared to be coloured dust. Further questioning led to the explanation of Baxters bizarre behaviour
Several weeks previously Mrs Bolitho had attended a car boot sale and being a very careful with money and always on the lookout for a bargain she had purchased two packets of a product that was designed to be shaken over a carpet prior to vacuuming. This as I understand it was to ensure that there was a pleasant aroma in the room. The difficulty was that It was not a recognised brand, in fact the directions were in a number of languages but I believe the country of origin may have been Romania.
Mr Bolitho was in the habit of going to the pub on a Sunday morning and in his absence Mrs Bolitho took the opportunity to vacuum the carpets. Their vacuum cleaner was an old fashioned upright type and the only problem was that night storage radiators were very low to the ground because they are fitted with very strong but very short legs due to the fact that they are very heavy. The upright cleaner was unable to get completely flush with the wall and therefore there was a tiny amount of cleaner about one inch wide left which was almost invisible to the naked eye.
What I believe was happening was that there was a very small amount of the cleaning product remaining under the radiator, the aroma became stronger in the evening when the temperature was raised. I can only assume that Baxters olfactory system was slightly defective and the aroma from the carpet cleaner gave the impression that a female in season was available and despite being neutered his hormones were stirred to the level of responding. It is a myth that all male dogs that have been neutered have no interest in females in season.
I explained my deduction to my clients and suggested that Mrs Bolitho revert back to her regular cleaning product and to give me a ring in a few days time to inform me of progress. As I left I took the opportunity to complimented the lady of the house on the quality of her scones.
I headed toward my car parked a short distance away, but as I reached out to unlock the car door I was to hear the broad Cornish tones of Mrs Bolitho.
“A little something for your tea Mr ‘Odson.” She handed me a large paper bag which contained a number of scones. I stammered my gratitude and drove away. The consequences of my visit were that Baxter was cured of his carnal desires regarding the night storage radiator and I felt a distinct tightening of the waistband of my trousers!!
“If you live with dogs, you’ll never run out of things to write about.”
Sharon Delarose
With subtitle or not?